Fourth Decade: Sucking the marrow out of life since 1969.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Emotional Spill

Framed within a window, the view seems so idyllic. What's not shown here, in this lakeside snapshot around the corner from my rental, would drive people away.

Life is like that too sometimes.

You can section off one part of your life that is going so well, it may as well have seceded from the rest of your life.

But just like an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, eventually your toxic past experiences are going to leak into that partitioned paradise you've created. And all you can do is try to contain the damage.

In an unexpected early round of "Just How Into Me Is This Guy Anyway," I had a mini meltdown yesterday. Most of it was brought on by unexpected car repairs that will cost me a small fortune, but then for some reason I started channeling really lousy thoughts from my previous relationship (such as there's no way this guy is for real and I should just prepare myself for the worst) and placing them into this new experience with The Michigan Man.

Um, hello light and breezy sailboat? Meet the dark submarine that's going to torpedo you into pieces if you don't get the hell out of the way.

All I can say is that luckily I recognized it before it got too twisty yucky bad. But it definitely required some open honest conversation. And I didn't hide from the task. I told him what was going through my head, and he took it in stride. In fact, he said "I'm just as taken with you now in hard times and I'm not going anywhere."

So for those of you who feel it is best not to share how you're feeling with a new guy, I hope that works out well for you. For me, I have to be straight with him. Otherwise, I'll always wonder where I stand and if I'm standing there for the right reasons.

1 love kisses:

Carolina Girl said...

I'm bad about sharing my feelings. Trying to do better! So far this guy sounds like a keeper - he can handle the truth and keep on ticking! Can't wait to you guys meet.

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