Fourth Decade: Sucking the marrow out of life since 1969.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

My Rental Is a Bad Romance

When I moved here about 5 years ago, it was to live around the corner from my ex and start the next chapter of our relationship together. The housing situation was supposed to be temporary and by no means was I supposed to foot the bill of renting a house 100% alone. But that is exactly what I have done.

Living here now is like being in an unhealthy relationship that you realize you need to get out of, yet you just can't seem to pull yourself away from the comfort and inertia that has a hold of you.

The large picture window and the view of the lake is incredible, no doubt about it.

But to stay here just for that view is the equivalent of staying in a relationship just because the man has a nice ass to look at. If his personality is crappy or his right arm is falling off and needs duct tape to stay together, and he ignores your requests for help, can't we all agree that it might be in your best interest to move on?

So I am moving. Writing it down makes it a very real plan for me.

To even see the words makes my stomach clench with fear and anxiety, not because of change, but because the sheer logistics of it flip me out every time I have to move. And then the physical aspect alone is exhausting. But, in the end, I am a Sagittarian and we love new places and new experiences. A chance to start fresh is like painting on a blank canvas.

I'll be moving from one small lake to a slightly larger lake, so I will still have the water to soothe me in the 3 seasons and hopefully dump some lake effect snow in the winter. I won't have a view or a large picture window, but I'll have a working fireplace and a very tall stockade wooden fenced yard for the dogs. It is black bear country, but I don't think I'll be having any encounters with them personally. I'm certainly not looking forward to seeing them hit by cars or shot during the brief hunting season.

There is so much to do as anyone who has moved knows well enough. I honestly wish I could afford a large dumpster and just trash 80% of what is in this house. I haven't bought a new piece of furniture in years and that isn't likely to change. Maybe I can find some used furniture from family and friends. Best to get into the new place first and see what might work.

During all of my decision-making about whether or not to move, the Michigan man has been a very solid rock. He hasn't tried to push me one way or the other, and he has always just listened to me rant about the current deteriorating house that the landlords refuse to repair.

In discussing my disbelief about the Michigan man's solid supportiveness with a southern friend, she brought home a solid point. He is acting the way a man SHOULD act, and the only reason it seems so unusual is because hardly anyone ever acts with integrity anymore. Just take a look all over the news to see reports of people acting shamefully and without a sense of right/wrong. I know I sound almost conservative rhetoric there, but I'm as liberal as they come. Liberal never meant you can act carelessly.

Nineteen (19) days until I pick up this solid man at the airport. Let's hope my back holds up. *grin*

Here is a shot of the Freesia that are opening up and looking lovely.

5 love kisses:

Kim said...

Hi. I'm new to your blog and I really enjoyed reading it. Best of luck with your move. I don't envy you, it is alot of work, but you sound like you have it all under contro. Your pictures are beautiful! Kim

Donna C said...

Wow, D...can't believe you're moving. But, I do believe it is for the best. Leave all that 'bad air' behind & move on.
It's true what your Southern friend said... This guy sounds like a 'good' man & not just another 'guy'. I really do wish you the best.

love you! xoxo

Carolina Girl said...

The time is getting closer...are you excited? Nervous? Anxious? All of the above?

Carolina Girl said...

And I was referring to July 4th weekend mostly. But the move...I can't wait to hear how that goes too.

I have a case of the Mondays today! So I'm reading blogs :) Well, technically rereading yours. I already read :)

Carolina Girl said...


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