To My Babcia

Babcia (or as we used to spell it Bopche),* 

Everyone in the family says they feel your presence. I don't discount that, but I don't feel it myself. So for what it is worth, I wanted you to know I've been thinking about you lately. Maybe that's my way of feeling your presence.

This is a tough time for Mom. She remembers your death and can't enjoy July 4th. I know how she feels; Sena died July 9, 3 years ago.

But we dramatic Italian Poles are always dwelling/honoring the past and those gone. Let's move on to happier news...

As you know, your great granddaughter is going to marry a Polish boy. He's a sweet guy, and the family is thrilled and you likely are as well. Or at least your reaction would be a better one than when I told you I married a Turk whose ancestors were from the Caucasus Mountains in Georgia.

I do believe your exact words at the time were "Bah! Can't trust a Ruskie." I knew there was no point in arguing that the two were completely different. WWII had scarred so many mindsets across so many ethnicities. Of course, interestingly, our divorce had to do with his lack of trust.

But, I wanted you to know that I've met a good guy too, a Polish guy. Not 100% but you know, mostly. He was born here, but he knows the important words: pierogi, chrusciki, and kielbasa. And when he caught me wearing a bandanna on my head the other day (on skype), he called me his beautiful babushka-wearing peasant girl.

I'm really hopeful about this relationship, and I find myself wishing he could meet you. In fact, I haven't felt this mature and straightforward about an involvement with a man in a long time. The bad ones had always involved me compromising in some way (some big ways, I hear my friends shouting) that ended up harming me.

Many fears have fallen away. The urge to find someone, just anyone, has disappeared. I started out on this new blog thinking I'd have a stable of men for the summertime, I'd tossed out the idea of a serious relationship, and looky looky what I ended up finding.

I haven't had to compromise anything for this man. He's acting like a man with all the right intentions to be in a long-term relationship. I haven't had to rely too hard on his words alone or spend a moment second-guessing because he's so decisive and straightforward with his actions. I know exactly how he feels about me, and I know exactly what he wants in life.

So maybe just maybe, I could find the happiness I had once more when I was a romantic, 20-year old and married to that Ruskie. Except it'll be better, because I'm much older and wiser now.

What do you think Babcia? Maybe, if the spirit world is smiling upon me?

*Grandma in Polish